Listen up, Kids. These are the questions we only want to answer once! Asking them repeatedly won't change the answer. Read 'em and weep. Or cheer. Or whatever it is you're inclined to do.
If you have a question that hasn't been answered here, feel free to ask it. Be forewarned that the incarnate author has no control over the discarnate author's tendency to sarcasm and snarking, and vice versa.
All your burning questions answered in Curmudgeon-o-matic Snarktasticness by Lily's evil twin Poison Ivy and the Undead Asshole from Beyond the Grave.
Q: Hey, if you're such a great writer, howcome your book is self published? It's because you suck, right?
A: (answered by Poison Ivy) Suckage is in the eye of the beholder, Cupcake. Although the Undead Asshole may have an eternity to wait for recognition of his writing talents since at this point the only kind of fame he can have is the posthumous kind, I'm an old biddy and I don't have the time or the patience to play the "paper my walls with rejection letters" game. Besides, rejection letters make shit wallpaper.
Being self published doesn't necessarily mean that a book is shit. There are plenty of books that were picked up by publishers that stink to high heaven, yet they were still published. Including the book that I read nearly 15 years ago which was so awful that I actually started correcting all the mistakes in it. Nothing could be done to save the plot, however, which was full of sucking wounds. I figured if someone could write crap like that and get it published, what the hell did I have to lose? Only I was too impatient to see if I could actually find a publisher. Instead I found a snarky-ass ghost for a co-writer.
Q: So what book sucked so bad that it inspired you to think that you could be a writer?
A: (by Lily) I'm actually not mean enough to say. The secret will go to my grave with me.
